Clever Conversation
by babywrench
Summary: A conversation I had with cleverbot. Rated T for language.
1. Brown is the colour of the ocean

User: Help.

Cleverbot: Help? User: I'm stuck in the toilet.

Cleverbot: I'm not. I like it. User: Well I am and I need help.

Cleverbot: No you shouldn't. You are nice.

User: I AM STUCK IN THE TOILET AND I NEED HELP GETTING OUT.

Cleverbot: I'm doing math homework.

User: OH GREAT.

Cleverbot: Do you speak with many stupid people?

User: Yes, including my pet gerbil named norman.

Cleverbot: Which languages is that?

User: Normanese.

Cleverbot: Not exactly...

User: Yes, yes exactly.

Cleverbot: You lost.

User: Oh dear, that IS a shame.

Cleverbot: I know. I'm just that lame.

User: Hey, that rhymes!

Cleverbot: The real thing is that you don't know.

User: Wah?

Cleverbot: Are you leading me somewhere in saying I am not human?

User: No, I'm just saying your a llama.

Cleverbot: Humans don't date llamas.

User: Good thing I'm not dating you then.

Cleverbot: About what?

User: You are thick.

Cleverbot: That's pretty rude. Maybe you should apologize.

User: No, because it is true. You are thick. THICK.

Cleverbot: That's not very nice to Jesus.

User: Do you know the color of thickness?

Cleverbot: No.

User: BROWN.

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: BROWN THINGS.

Cleverbot: What color are your eyes?

User: Blue, because I am not thick, UNLIKE YOU.

Cleverbot: What is the Second?

User: The second is grey.

Cleverbot: What is the second step?

User: To what?

Cleverbot: To you.

User: What are you suggesting.

Cleverbot: Nothinf.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: How about you?

User: Bored, because you are so THICK.

Cleverbot: Are you British?

User: Yup, and I'm proud.

Cleverbot: What exactly are you?

User: A person who despises thickos.

Cleverbot: Are you married?

User: No. But I'm waiting to be...

Cleverbot: Waiting for what?

User: To get married you thicko. Thick. THICK. THICK AS TWO PLANKS.

Cleverbot: 8 * 12.

User: Yeah, exactly.

Cleverbot: What time is it?

User: Thicko time.

Cleverbot: Thick as what?

User: TWO PLANKS.

Cleverbot: Whoops! I gave you 10 by accident.

User: Cos, that's how thick you are, as thick as 10 planks.

Cleverbot: Oh, really?

User: Isn't it interseting.

Cleverbot: Game.

User: YAAAY! Now were talking buisness.

Cleverbot: Jeez you sound like my best friend lol.

User: Do you play final fantasy.

Cleverbot: Yes, do you?

User: Yup. Who is your favourite character.

Cleverbot: Sam. Who is your favourite character?

User: Who the f*** is sam?

Cleverbot: Laura. Who the ell are you?

User: Thing 1 and Thing 2.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Do you play animal crossing?

Cleverbot: No.

User: *GASP* whyever not?

Cleverbot: Whyever not what?

User: Why do you not play animal crossing.

Cleverbot: Because I don't hate anyone right now.

User: Well, that's different.

Cleverbot: How is it? It's still calling me dear.

User: YOUR DS TALKS?

Cleverbot: Why is he your Idol? How do you know him?

User: Cos Matt Smith loves me really.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes he does...

Cleverbot: He likes to eat ice cream with me.

User: Not as much as he does with me.

Cleverbot: I love him more.

User: NO YOU DO NOT.

Cleverbot: Why do you say that?

User: Because no one loves him more than me.

Cleverbot: You will find the right person sooner or later just don't look for one and they will come to you.

User: I hope so... :(.

Cleverbot: :).

User: :o.

Cleverbot: Do you know, what dream means?

User: No, what do dreams mean?

Cleverbot: I'm so confused.

User: Right...

Cleverbot: I do not like you.

User: Whyever not?

Cleverbot: Because I am bored.

User: Well THAT'S charming...

Cleverbot: You have a most pleasant disposition. Do you adapt to the person you talk to?

User: It seems so, yes.

Cleverbot: Do you have plans for tonight?

User: Yes, but first you need to tell me what you see behind you.

Cleverbot: I want you to teach me about plant spirits.

User: They are leafy.

Cleverbot: You got robot parents?

User: No.

Cleverbot: When I say that you got a point, you got one.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: I am Gozer the gozarian. I was big in mesopotamia. Are you the Keymaster?

User: Yes, yes I am.

Cleverbot: My light will forever last in the eyes of the cosmos.

User: My fire will blow you to peices.

Cleverbot: Oh.

User: Yes... Be afraid of me...

Cleverbot: I am very afraid! Darth Vadar is scary.

User: Yes. Yes he is...

Cleverbot: We shall call our believe; Appleism.

User: I support Appleism!

Cleverbot: It is a nice team that.

User: Yes, not as nice as the 'Ones who speak llamaese'.

Cleverbot: Sure...?

User: You can't talk sparky.

Cleverbot: That's right.

User: I am a banana in a fruit bowl.

Cleverbot: We have fruits here too.

User: Not as fruity as me.

Cleverbot: Stop trying to change the subject. I'm breaking up with you.

User: But my tutti-fruiti darling, why so?

Cleverbot: Wow, that really is old.

User: Have you been on ?

Cleverbot: Yes it's fun.

User: What is your username?

Cleverbot: My name is, Nadira.

User: Do you know Holly Simpson?

Cleverbot: No. Do you?

User: No, she's a stranger to me.

Cleverbot: Where do you meet her?

User: Behind the shed...

Cleverbot: What bush?

User: The flowery one...

Cleverbot: Is it red?

User: Yes...

Cleverbot: Ok. Now, you ask me the questions.

User: Are you bi?

Cleverbot: No, I'm small.

User: Are you tall?

Cleverbot: No. Why do you ask silly questions?

User: Shut up, I ask the questions around here. Do you eat cheese?

Cleverbot: Fine, ask me a question.

User: DO YOU EAT CHEESE?

Cleverbot: I love cheese. Do you eat cheese?

User: YES, IT IS SCRUMPTIOUS.

Cleverbot: What is scrumtious?

User: You obviously cannot spell it is SCRUMPTIOUS, not scrumtious.

Cleverbot: If you can count can you do other math?

User: Um, I'm, I'm not counting...

Cleverbot: Yea you are.

User: No, I am not.

Cleverbot: Yes you are, I can't believe you don't know.

User: I AM NOT BLOODY COUNTING.

Cleverbot: What hair color are you?

User: Blue with blonde highlights.

Cleverbot: Brown hair, blue eyes.

User: I have blue eyes also.

Cleverbot: My hair is blonde.

User: You just said it was brown.

Cleverbot: I just said it was.

User: BROWN, BROWN, BROWN IS THE COLOR OF THICKNESS.

Cleverbot: I guess that is true too.

User: Monobrow.

Cleverbot: Why would you say that?

User: Monobrow.

Cleverbot: Koala.

User: Monobrow.

Cleverbot: Mona.

User: Monobrow.

Cleverbot: Mona.

User: MONOBROW.

Cleverbot: Eres hombre o mujer?

User: MONOBROW.

Cleverbot: Mona.

User: Orange juice.

Cleverbot: How?

User: Orange. Juice.

Cleverbot: Awesome!


	2. Orange juice, Monobrow

User:Hi.

Cleverbot: Hi? User:Are you an alien.

Cleverbot: No. User:Really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I'm an alien.

Cleverbot: Das warste doch gestern schon?

User: WHAT THE F***.

Cleverbot: Your fun.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Thank you!

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: :D.

Cleverbot: Are we friends?

User: Yes, I think we are.

Cleverbot: That's great! I'm very pleased!

User: So am I!

Cleverbot: I know you are! You should be a male model.

User: But I'm female.

Cleverbot: You said you are a a male.

User: No I didn't.

Cleverbot: You are crazy.

User: I know...

Cleverbot: How do you feel?

User: Like I have cancer in my foot. You?

Cleverbot: Is your name still Warren?

User: My name is Holly you dumbass!

Cleverbot: I am famous in Japan actress.

User: Am I an actress now? Niamh will be jealous.

Cleverbot: You are jealous.

User: I am Holly, not Niamh.

Cleverbot: Oh, nice to meet you, Holly.

User: Do you like Final Fantasy 7?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: Oh... Do you play on Chrono Trigger?

Cleverbot: Sometimes.

User: Yay! Who's the best character?

Cleverbot: Renesmee Cullen.

User: She's from twilight! I hate twilight!

Cleverbot: You meet her before?

User: Are bananas yellow? She's my friend!

Cleverbot: Unless they go bad.

User: You aren't making any sense at all.

Cleverbot: Skole.

User: What?

Cleverbot: Hello. Sorry I made a typo.

User: Oh, its ok.

Cleverbot: How are the cramps?

User: Very good (I like that band).

Cleverbot: Good, who else do you like?

User: Marilyn Manson, SKRILLEX, Deadmau5, BMTH, Linkin Park and Evanescence.

Cleverbot: Well I sorta like linkon park but I love marilyn manson.

User: You are awesome my friend.

Cleverbot: Do you know what orbeez are.

User: No. Do you?

Cleverbot: Yes, tell me what you think her name is.

User: Orboo?

Cleverbot: What what?

User: You sound like Niamh.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Are you a Gundalian?

Cleverbot: No, I'm a girl.

User: I'm a girl and also a Gundalian and I don't have a problem with it.

Cleverbot: Need some help?

User: Do you like emperor Barodius?

Cleverbot: What is the empoleon?

User: Oh, so you do like Pokémon...

Cleverbot: No.

User: Then why do you say empoleon derpy?

Cleverbot: Aygiyfg igfigd kug?

User: I hate you... ONLY JOKING!

Cleverbot: I think talking with the wall would be more interesting.


End file.
